When you get into a relationship, do you lose your single self?

Alex has gone away for the weekend and it has left me with a huge void to fill. Mostly this has been achieved so far by a Sex and the City marathon and dinner with one of my girlfriends. Oh and potentially a few too many chocolate covered peanuts.

So half way through my marathon, Carrie asked the question of whether you lose your single self when you get into a relationship, and it really made me think.

The fact is, I'm not the same person that I was almost a year and a half ago now, and I think the reason for that is Alex. I used to be perfectly contented to spend a night on my own, hell, I loved the odd selfish pamper night. But now, I find myself wandering around with no idea what to do with myself like it's not even my home! Once Alex and I moved in together, we got really close really quickly and now I really don't like to spend even one night away from her. So much so that I have scheduled an impromptu visit to my own family tomorrow because God only knows what I'd do with another night alone.

Normally that kind of time on my hands results in a dodgy home dye job, but I'm not touching my hair at the moment for fear of another orange/falling out incident. (Yes, I am that girl who thinks she can do her own hair at home perfectly well, and sets out with a box of XXL and two fingers stuck up at the thought of £100+ spent in a salon. I'm also the girl who epically fails in achieving my desired result 80% of the time and has to go running to the salon for an even more expensive colour correcting after a night of crying on the bathroom floor. One day I will learn.)

Anyway, what I'm saying is, that yeah I go out, I am a student after all, but I always like to know that I'm coming home to Alex. And if I'm not, I turn into a waif and stray whereas before I would have been bouncing off the ceiling at a rare night of solitude.

I also find that before Alex gets home, I suddenly turn mad and start tidying up and applying lipstick like a mad woman! What is that all about? I feel like I'm stuck in a 40's 'Guide To Being A Good Housewife' book, but I can't help myself! I never would have done that before...

So the real question is, does that make me mad? Or am I closely resembling a 50 year old married woman? I don't know, but the thing is, I quite like it. Even if that makes me sound a little odd, I mostly want to know if I'm on my own on this one, or if theres anyone else out there stuck in a post war housewife mentality? In a good way of course.

What do you think?

Lea

xxx